New Age conscientiousness’s

I have been on a truth seeker journey. One morning I sat up in bed and proceeded to speak words I was not prepared to say. Lit was not coming from my conscience thoughts. I said “I Am A Truth Seeker” and I said it three times, out loud. Not that there was anyone listening!! Anyway that’s where I am

And I have been on that journey. Ok I listen to Matias deStefeno having a conversation with his higher self on topics that coordinate with the constellations and vibrations. Then after that Matias has a program that breaks down what the conversation was about with his higher self. He brings in a lot of biology. And then he does an alignment and a meditation.

I have listened and read books on kabbala Buddha, Hinduism, Christianity, Judaism, Egyptian. Civilizations, Mayan, Inca, Peruvian. First civilizations that built these fabulously i creditable stone buildings that I do not believe those civilizations had the technology to built these structure weighing tons!!! Extraterrestrials may have been here. I am not quite there but we are cosmically connected. The universe is infinite. There is no end to the universe, galaxies, solar systems. We really are pretty primitive snd with all our technology we do not have a concrete answer to where we come from!


Reading book

I was reading a book by Carlos Castaneda and it was weird but interesting. I decided to read up on him and discovered he wasn’t such a great person. So I am not going to finish the book. Someone online suggested David Wilcox’s “Awakening the Dream” but it not in my book list in Scribd yet. There are other books by him. So I will read it listen to those. I am immersing myself in my awakening!!!

Another fabulous day at the ocean!!!

Mission Beach

I love walking along the shore and listen to books! There was a rip current today, so I didn’t venture into water. Someone pointed out a stingray also. So that was another good reason to just stay on the shore watching as I walked in the water!!!

Had a nice break

My daughter came to visit from Irvine for the day. My day had started out slow. On weekends I tend not to go to the beach, which I love and stay close to home because the parking at mission Beach is hard. During the week I will go to the beach. I walk along barefoot along the shore and get my steps in for my exercise. Love walking along the ocean. Live the sounds, the smells and the energy. I’ll alternate going to the San Diego zoo and walk among the absolutely fabulous surroundings!! I get my steps in walking in nature. Other days it’s a walk to Embarcadero Park or Seaport Village. It’s all great.

San Diego Zoo
elephants Playing

But today we walked to Horton plaza to find theater tickets. The “Lion King” was showing at the Civic Center just a few blocks from my place!!! As we walked past the theater goers I suggested we check at the ticket window to see if they discounted last minutes tickets. The tickets that were available online were well over $100 and up. With that a woman csme up to me while I was waiting for my daughter to check on tickets and said would I like tickets to the show” She and e that they had four extra tickets and wanted someone to enjoy them. Her partners father had bought them snd the other family members were unable to attend!!! When I told her si had wanted to see the show and that I had put that out in the universe, which I had. We went in, found our seats H row, right in the middle orchestra. Unbelievable. A day started out doing the wash and finished with my daughter paying a surprise visit, getting free tickets, two new friends and a wonderful theater experience of The Lion King with standing ovations. It was just the thing I needed.

I have spent many hours watching documentaries. Reading books on spirituality. Listening to audio books by Carl Sagan while to go on my nature walks.

I woke up last week, sat straight up and said out loud “I am truth seeker” . And I repeated it like it wasn’t coming from me. So I am becoming that truth seeker. I listen to matias deStefano and his daily channeling of his higher self if I Am. Then I listen to his blog cast and meditation. I have read books by Edgar Caycee, Dolores cannon. Listened to lots of different people on the again channel. Shamans, physics, channeled, ashkasic readers, extraterrestrial contacts. All kinds of new age information. I have been a member of MUFON since before I left for Thailand. And my belief in our cosmic brothers is even stronger. I just discovered billy Meier from Switzerland and investigating his claim of contact with pleidisns from Cyrus. Anyway I will have more updates on my progress. It’s all a little overwhelming. I have also watched all the Ancient Aliens series season one thru eighteen. I am on a quest of awakening!!!’

Mission Beach

This world is so crazy!!!

I have began a quest to find the truth of humans existence. There is so much science does not know.

I was raised Catholic. I went to catholic school. I lived in a housing complex in the Bronx in NYC that was segregated!!! This was in the 1950’s. Talk about being sheltered. Then I was moved up to “the country”. About 50 miles north of NYC. Again almost predominately white. Two or three black students. Again Catholic school. Talk about brainwashed.,

Now I believe there are other beings from other planets!!! This earth is just out of control. War, poverty, capitalism on steroids, homelessness, starvation, disease. How can this possibly be happening when we are the richest country in the world or one of several. We can put a man on the moon fly to mars and watt telescope goes back 23.7 billion years to the si called Big Bang, but we can’t pay a living wage to people. Can’t wipe out poverty and food insecurity. Russia is back to last century waging war with tanks on their neighbor!! Yeah we definitely fucked this up and need to fix it.!!!

I have taken a new path!!

I found myself totally involved with the whole trump disaster . I found it monumentally depressing! And he is still at it. I have lost friends or should I say, I have not wanted to have any thing to do with trumpers. He is still at it with his big lie and God help America if he comes back. Bad enough having crazy republicans still pushing the big lie. Then we have deranged Putin and the unbelievable war against the Ukrainians.

I started watching shows on a channel called Gaia. Great stations for alternative thinking. All kinds of metaphysical visitors and shows about aliens, past regression, akashic records, psychics, Kahbala ancient teachings, Egyptian pyramids. And my personal favorite Matias de Stefano from Argentina. He says he lived in Atlantis and that he had had many lives. He has talked about The galactic Federation, I know it sounds like Star Trek. He has been telling people about a earth awakening to find the Devine within ourselves. As recently as this past February 2022 he and a group of I believe several thousands went on a trip to Egypt. They held services in the pyramids, they went to open portals. They are planning another trip to Argentina in November 2022. H has a social podcast . He has been on you tube daily teaching about humanity and leading meditations. He has done this for the past. 360 days . He will start a new year according to Sirius calendar on February 4th. It has changed my life. I will write more tomorrow, it’s getting late!

DEPP vs Heard verdict today

It’s a shame that any of this is interesting to the public. Being a survivor of domestic violence myself, I am really not happy with the behavior of Amber Heard.

Am she made this very public. Getting a restraining order and notifying TMZ ti be there with cameras. Making videos without Johnny’s knowledge and giving it again ti TMZ.

Amber doesn’t seem very credible. And it’s shameful what she has done to real domestic violence survivors. She has damaged real women.

Well I have taken a complete turn!

I found this channel on prime. It’s called Gaia and “open mind”

I just decided there is absolutely nothing I can do to change all this crazy shut going on in this world. Crazy Putin and his back to the Stone Age war. The horrible racist white evangelical so called Christian’s. (Jesus must be flipping out) the wackado republicans following the evil, racist, pathological liar drumpt. It’s just freakin insane!

So I was flipping they prime tv and found this Gaia channel that is fabulous. It is just what I needed. A Argentinian guy named matais de stefano who I listened to four seasons!!! With like 15 episodes each. A lot went over my head, but I am listening to him. He makes sense. We live in the third dimension, but we can progress to fourth, fifth, sixth. Up to ninth. Align our chakras. Raise our vibrations.

Today there was congressional sub committee hearings on UAP . Unidentified Aerial phenomena. Changed the name from UFO. Why, who knows. To confuse us probably.

This is the first congressional hearing on this in fifty years!!! Like they didn’t notice all those 400 sightings in the last fifty years. People are going to completely flipped out when they finally tell Joe public there are actually little green men.

So I am going all in. No more crazy, depressing news. Putin, trump, roe vs Wade, shootings, climate change, racists, white dupremists, republicans, tucker, white Christian evangelicals, red necks, homeless, poverty, Covid, enough!!!!!’


This blog was about women that faced domestic violence before it was called domestic violence. Of course it’s such a downer subject I just stuffed it.

With Johnny DEPP and Amber Heard going at each other it triggers me. But I can’t stop watching it while I do other stuff.

Then today it’s the leak of SCOTUS opinion on Roe vs Wade. What a nightmare. These justices that are voting for the striking down roe vs Wade are Catholics. I know Amy Barrett belongs to a really hard core catholic secret society. This is not up to people who believe abortion is wrong. That’s their right. It is not their right to make everyone else obey their religious ideas. that is not their job. Humans have been around for a long time. Abirtion had been around for a long time. Back in cave days they just put the baby outside and let it dir after birth. They had reasons. Such as we can’t feed another!!’

I had three children. My husband lost his job. He was abusive. I did not want another child. I personally wanted a job. I wanted to go to school. I wanted to have a life. My life stopped at 18, when I was pregnant. Stop life. Your a parent. It was awful.

Happy Spring

Johnny Depp and Amber Heard’s trial has raised some issue for me regarding domestic violence.

Not that Easter is a big holiday for me, nonetheless it is upsetting that I faced another holiday alone.

I guess I am returning to my first reason for writing this blog; to find other survivors of domestic violence.

As it turned out my eldest daughter phoned me Easter morning. She suggested taking a train to Oceanside from San Diego and she take a train down and met in Oceanside for lunch.

As she had awoken me, I was still not with it. Finding the train schedule and fares were not as easy as it sounded. First of all there are three trains to choose from. All going in the same direction but with different time tables, different destinations and different fares. There is adult and senior which are not the same. One is discounted,so if you selected adult, you then saw the senior selection. But alas it’s too late to change!! Also the trolley and buses leave from this station. Getting to the train station was not any clearer as to which train and where to board it as the online schedule. Even the “helper” couldn’t help with where the coaster leaves. I did finally, along with another couple who happen to be going to the same destination, board the correct train!!

I did speak with my middle daughter a day later and in conversation she disclosed she in fact went to one of my youngest daughters home for Easter, which had her father there for the holiday. Now this is the kind of shit that drives me nuts. The holidays have always been a very, very touchy subject.

My ex is going thru another divorce. He lives in some kind of retirement place. I really don’t care to know. And it is so hurtful that he has holidays with my kids and I don’t.

I guess I wonder how other women that were in an abusive marriage or relationship and you still have that person in your life manage.

It drives me nuts. I want him out of my life. I have tried therapy. I can’t afford the therapy., I need for domestic violence.,just writing about it makes me feel bad.,it’s like this is a big secret. When you do disclose, it usually just feels bad.

I remember when I was in Cambodia I was at my friends bar/gallery and the bar owner and I were smoking a blunt and he asked what happened with my marriage. I said it was abusive. He went ballistic. Telling me that’s bullshit etc. I was shocked. It’s crazy the reaction you get. It’s like it’s my fault and how dare I say such a thing. I never really talked with him again.

It’s like I can’t say it. And if I do, there is something wrong with that. That was a man’s reaction. I have had the women reaction as “I would never allow any man to hit me” I would be gone immediately. Needless to say it’s better to keep your abuse history to yourself. Even family say stupid things.

I really hate it. When I first was divorced it was really difficult. I had to quit college and go back to work full time at some shitty government job. I did finally finish college and received my BA in Social Science. whoops it only took me almost 20 years. What a joke. Then I went back to get my Special Education

Johnny DEPP and Amber Heards defamation trail.

I have been watching the domestic violence defamation trail.

Amber H. Accused Johnny DEPP of wife beating. She called and requested a tro temporary restraining order against Johnny D.

Back in the late sixties and thru out the seventies there was basically no such term as domestic violence. There were no shelters. If you called the police they did nothing, maybe have the obvious perpetrator leave. Big deal.